Between Dimensions
Remembering the self that crossed from the stars and never fully forgot where it came from
There are moments when I feel like I slipped into this life from somewhere just outside of it, like I crossed a thin, invisible seam and forgot how to go back. It is a quiet, persistent awareness that I am slightly misaligned, as if I am standing in one dimension while remembering another. It isn’t something I can explain to anyone without it sounding like a vivid imagination, but it doesn’t feel imagined. It feels like residules of another life, like something living in my DNA.
I have tried to root myself here, to become fully of this place, adopt its rhythms, its expectations, and its ways of defining what is real. And I can do it, I have done it, but there is always this subtle resistance in me, like my body is here but something deeper refuses to fully integrate into this galaxy. It’s a knowing that I am operating inside a version of reality that is thinner than the one I came from, more compressed, contained, and more easily controlled.
Sometimes it feels like I am remembering in reverse, like instead of learning who I am, I am slowly uncovering what was dimmed when I took form here. There are flashes of it, moments when everything expands, time loosens, and I can almost feel the vastness I came through pressing softly against the edges of my perception. It doesn’t overwhelm me. It steadies me. It reminds me that I am not limited to this one layer, or one story, or one identity I’ve been handed and told to adopt.
And yet, there is a loneliness in carrying this awareness, because there is no clear way to share it. People want things to be grounded, explained, and proven. But this isn’t something I can hold up to the light and dissect. It’s something I feel in the quietest spaces, like the pauses between my thoughts, and the moments when I stop trying to belong somewhere and just exist. That’s when it comes back to me as a place I never fully left.
I don’t think I am meant to escape this world, or to reject it. Although rejecting it is my biggest struggle, and perhaps the largest lesson. I think I am really meant to remember myself within this place, and to move through it without forgetting the depth I carry, the dimension I came from, and the quiet, expansive origin that still lives inside me. And maybe that’s the point, not to choose one over the other, but to exist at the intersection, where something infinite learns how to take form without losing itself.
Where coming from the stars isn’t quiet as lonely.
— Vennie
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